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Be good, and if you can't be good, be careful.
Intro
i am who i am
i hate squatting toilets and people who cycle on pedestrian paths
i love my sg gibson bass guitar and playing crisis core
i spend half my life in yuhua secondary school
nothing to say
Monday, May 25, 2009
Today I'm very tired. I have been planning the 4E5N English oral exam. 4E5 was very naughty today in class, all playing afool and not being serious. Sigh. I hate when my lesson is at the end of the day. Today was the first day of intensive MT lessons too... knowing them, their brains were probably fried after like 20 mins? Let alone 3 hours...
I wish we could have intensive EL lessons too, but I know people will play around, talk rubbish, throw things at each other.
I looked at their EL grades (the ones in the report book slips) and I almost cried. So many C5s? So many D7s? E8s? And only 2 A2s, Krystal and Erin... How?
Other subjects can score well. Maths is practice. Science is understanding (or force-feeding yourself information, depending on what kind of person you are and who teaches you). Humans is remembering facts. MT is... you lucky, you pass, not lucky, you fail... English? How to score for English? I'm an English teacher and I really don't know. I tell people to read. READ, for God's sake,
READ. They do (well, some of them) but then everyone else is very lazy to read. Then no one wants to speak English either. Halfway Chinese, halfway Singlish, here, there, everywhere. No one wants to write... Write halfway, say very tired, don't want to write anymore.
I think I'm just not a good enough teacher. Maybe I don't plan my lessons properly. What can I do better so that people will learn? So that they will remember what I tell them... the important things, not just what "pervy" and "salacious" mean? What am I doing wrong? I really don't know. I don't want them to suffer just because I am still new to this and am picking up everything as I go along. I'm not smart, and I'm not very efficient, but I love English and I love my students, and I want to teach them what is right.
And then I won't be here for the supplementary lessons... I almost didn't go to Spain because I was worried about them, about them missing EL. But my parents want to go and they don't want to go without me, and I don't know when I will get to go with them again, because you never know when something might suddenly happen so that you never get the chance again. Honestly? I am scared of my parents suddenly dying on me... They are not that old, but they are old-ish... and lately I am closest to my parents cos I am the only one without a significant other/kids to take up most of my time. I don't want to lose chances to spend time with them. But then 4E5 and 5N1? I know 5N1 will be very happy cos they hate supplementary lessons... But I look at their EL grades... who's going to clear the Os with those? None of them take HMT... So EL is all they have. Same goes for 4E5. BUT PEOPLE ARE FAILING.
SPECTACULARLY.
I know people are going to look at 4E5's grades and go, eeee, why they so bad in English one? because that's what people do. They expect things of you. But what can I do? I nag, and scold, and threaten... maybe I don't do it enough, that's why they don't listen...
I don't know la. E5? I am tired. And I'm sorry, I'm trying really hard to not be tired... but I'm failing.
and i'll return to you somehow: 19:38
